My Village
this one is for my friends, fellow kiddults
Last weekend, Mason surprised me with a birthday dinner at a quaint wine bar in Spitalfields. My best friends were secretly in on it too. Except Mason forgot to tell everyone else the location. The surprise landed on my friends instead: they showed up to my empty flat an hour away, then had to uber over in a rush. I’ve never cared about celebration for myself (never went to any graduation) but in the presence and insistence of these friends, I felt bashfully happy to be celebrating Erica a little.
I've spent most of my adulthood far from family, and most of my childhood shuttling between them. Birthdays were special because I got to see people I love who were rarely together. When I was barely tall enough to reach the kitchen counter, I ate cake on my grandpa’s laps. We’d have hot pot in an air-conditioned restaurant and sweat profusely from steam and spices on the hottest day of the year. Chopsticks clinked while my grandma yapped. I stuffed my belly with ice cream until I ballooned into a sweet coma. Because I knew I'd sprawl into sleep until the smell of bok choy soup, pork buns, and shaomai woke me the next morning. On special occasions, there is no expectation to fill the day with anything other than unconditional love.
I have an amorphic relationship with age. I grew up early, so now I feel like a kiddult (one who fills her day with equal amount of whimsy and discipline). Adulthood is a long journey of figuring things out, to contemplate the world and our place in it. My journey has been incredibly joyful and abundant. Feeling like a kiddult is optimism without amnesia: not the kind of hope a kid has, where every hour is brand new and nothing festers past midnight. There are real consequences in a kiddult’s life. I take seriously the work of making it full of wonder and beauty, and building something that does the same for other people.
Mini and I live in the same neighborhood, 20 minutes door to door. She strolls over on a random Wednesday, and it makes me happy. We rock up at an adorable cafe called Sweety Cooky 100 meters away. She walks in and says “this could become our place.” Later that day, we order 40% off sushi to share at her place while watching a video of couples proposing. Her cats stare at us and salivate from afar.
As thoughtful, autonomous, life-loving kiddults, we have this wonderful opportunity to fill our world with more of the same. This one is for my friends, fellow kiddults. I love growing up with you. Life gets harder but better. Is it good because it’s hard, or is it hard because it’s good? Life gets harder but better because of you. We are able to fall in love because we are already so, so loved.
Erica x
My box of keepsakes from the birthday: https://www.gliahq.com/erica/26th-birthday
Hanna bought me a book called Midnight Chicken. I have not been this mesmerized by beautiful nonfiction prose in a while. I’ve brought the book to Parliament Hill at sunset a few times this week.
